'Ummmmm... so that apartment is how many square feet?'...

We're advertising for an apartment of ours that will be vacant soon. The Craigslist ad we have posted lists the usual: square feet, # of bedrooms/bathrooms, amount of rent, date it'll be available, etc.

People can't read. It's really true. A call today went like this, which in many ways is typical:

Caller: 'Uh... hi. I saw your ad on Craigslist for the apartment.'

Me: 'OK. Good.'

C: 'Well, I wanted to know more about it.'

M: 'OK. What do you want to know that the ad didn't cover?'

C: 'Ummm... well, when will it be available?'

M: 'The ad said it is available after (such-and-such a date). So that's when it will be available.'

C: 'Got it. Any way that the apartment will be available earlier than that date?'

M: 'Sorry, but no. The current tenants have a lease until that date.'

C: 'Oh... OK. So how many square feet is the apartment?'

M: 'The ad said it is (so many) square feet.'

C: 'OK. And the rent is (so many dollars) a month, right?'

M: 'That's right, that's what the ad said.'

C: 'Got it. And it's two-bedroom and one-bath, right?'

... pause ...

M: 'I'm not sure. What did the ad say?'

C: 'It said two and one.'

M: 'Then that's what it is.'

C: 'Uh..... OK.... So you're sure that it won't be available before (date)?'

.... pause ...

M: 'I'm sure.'

C: 'Not a chance, huh?'

... pause ...

M: 'What other questions can I answer for you?'

... and so on.

I mean, fuck..... What is it about so many people who look for an apartment? They can't read? They look away from the computer and they forget what they just read? Not every caller has been like the one above. But a surprisingly great number of them.

It's like that video 'Fry Day (Out)', the one that made the rounds on the Web, that has the dog who tried the Jack in the Box drive through and Jack has the voice of Jack Nicholson. The one where the dog keeps asking for fries. 'Who put the 'freak' in French fries?'.....

Just like that. Except different.